The Death

Lying sick and bed ridden can give you some of the most worrisome thoughts in this world. The same has been happening to me for three days now. You cannot just keep sleeping all the time, and since you are weak enough to get up, there isn't much that you can do either.

Well, the thought that struck me is of "death"; sadly but the only truth this life holds. The birth is just a dream that will soon fade away. The duration of this dream can be any long but then, it is a dream and one day it just has to go. If it is a nightmare or a fairytale, we all know gradually. But the part that keeps haunting us always is that it will be over soon, the truth will then dawn on us.

Death, it scares me, it might be scaring you too. You sleep with a hope to wake up but if this will come true, you know not. What if I don't wake up, what if that was the last day, what if all that I am doing is left in the middle. Who all will miss me and till when. Will their lives change without me or will they move on after the stipulated 13 days.
Will they remember me as a good person who lived or will they be happy that I am finally gone forever.

Well anyway, your parents and friends remember you for a month or so and sometimes occasionally; others, well they just come for that meal and formality.

Death can be accidental or it just comes with the age. The accidental ones, you can't actually fear them because they just happen without you knowing but the ones that come with age; you just spend every single day realising that the time is ticking away and there is not much you can do about.
Then, there are people who die every day, every moment. Their morals die, their values die and they find themselves in hell even before they finally leave their bodies.

The fear of dying is not because of what will happen to the people we love, the fear is because we do not want to miss out on the happiness we would have if alive.
We do not want to give up so easily on living, do we ?

The point is, die we must but before that we should live. Our death shouldn't be just another of the many deaths we have daily. We should die as someone who lived, who accomplished it all, and who when he died, had nothing to be sad about.
The fear will always be there, but there is no time to waste thinking about it. Let it be because it will be. So enjoy, your life is a party, how well you throw it is entirely your calling. The music that you want to be played, will it be sad or happy is your choice.

There is just one wish that I have, it is that when I die, I die with a smile on my face, so that no matter what people say or discuss after me, I would still know that I had died just one death and that I had actually lived.

The Almighty and the Bitter Truth

(This article does not aim at hurting anyone's religious sentiments. Kindly take it in the right spirit.)

I was on my vacation, a welcome break from the daily deeds. My family had gone to Maharashtra to attend a wedding and so it was a major part of our itinerary to visit the famous temples in Nashik and ofcourse Shirdi.

All was going great till the writer inside me observed around; the numerous beggars or the poor ones and the reluctance to pay them something.
I do not support giving alms to the able bodied, neither do I appreciate begging but still, for the handicapped poor ones, the old and about to be dead ones; I couldn't simply turn a blind eye.

And beat that, the overflowing streams of milk that eventually fell into a gutter ;the sight killed all the "shraddha" I had. "You get this pooja done, you will achieve this" ;the last I checked the almighty wasn't a materialistic human like me.

Inside the temple, people were literally fighting to get a view of the deity. C'mon, just having a look will not change your fortunes.
And then, offering money to the deity;now that is of no use but for filling the temple's coiffures. Lets face the fact that the Lord is not going to go to the Supermarket to buy things for himself or His family.

And what I found actually amusing was the fact, there was an outlet for the poured milk and they had just for the aesthetic value, made an idol on it; people were worshipping it !

Well, I am nobody to mock at someone's devotion but blind faith irritates me especially when I find the same people ignoring the needy.

All through our Upanishads and Purans and other major religious books, God has been projected as the epitome of love, care and help. Someone who is selfless and keeps others before himself.

That prasad you bought, that money could have been put to a better use. Someone could have had his full day meal out of that money spent. That milk you just poured, you could have fed a child with that. The "chadar" you put on the lord's feet, it could have helped a poor in winters.

But no, God has more importance than His Men.
As a child, I grew up listening to Abou Ben Adhem and the stories about how God likes those who help His creations.

I have grown up with the same ideology. I buy stuff at temples just because it supports the small time businessmen, My God likes me for that.

He does not want the goodies or the money; He knows and values my love for Him. He likes it more when I feed a poor. He is my friend who is always there, irrespective of what I have to give to Him.
He loves the poor as much as he loves those who offer alot to Him.

Because He is the Lord; He isn't you or me.

(Confused Genius has pledged that whenever she will be asked to perform a pooja for any cause, she will instead go and feed the poor or support a child's education. And yeah, to support the Pandit, a small havan would do.Maybe you should do it too. )

The Friends..

(Starting this one directly, no beating about the bush.)

Friends, they are supposed to stand by you always, atleast that is what the definition says. And its not that they support you when you are together, they will stand for you even when you are apart. No diplomacy nothing, they are with you come what may.

As they say, a friend is like; "i can say anything to you, but if someone else says, brother he has messed with me".

Now, in this big world where we meet alot of people and make a lot of acquaintances, the definition of a friend often gets blurred. We often end up confusing a "people you may know" with a friend, and here is where the trouble starts.

People do not have time for you; you end up wasting your tears infront of those who do not care; you share your success with people who are actually not comfortable with it; you spend on impressing people who actually make fun of you behind and call you a fool to give a treat, all this and many more such.

The confusion increases with social networking. As I had mentioned in a previous blog, the one liking and commenting on your post or photo isn't necessarily a friend.

Evidently, the fault lies with us. We fail to see the truth or many times unknowingly take it wrong.

Remember, a friend is one who comes without calling, stands for you irrespective of what others might think, cries when you cry and when you laugh, he laughs louder. A friend is someone, you just know he is, you do not even have to express, your heart just knows and your friend knows that too.

I do not have a large friend circle but I actually have a few friends I can actually rely on; and they just know it.

And lastly, why do you think, FB introduced them as "people you may know"and not friends.
Precisely!

(Any of the above has not been Confused Genius' experience. She has always been till date smart enough to just know her friends.)

The Flight Syndrome

For all the reasons close and far, sitting and thinking, I actually felt like running away to the jungle or at the very least coiling back to the comfort of my mother's hug and the warm blanket.

The Flight Syndrome, as i call it; is something natural to every human being. No one is born a strongman who wants to face all the issues always.

Even the greatest of the men and women felt like running away leaving all behind. (I never happened to interview any but I am no less right {TIC}). And this is purely obvious; every one wants to live a happy trouble free life, why on earth the pains then.

And it is not that you do not have an option, you always have the option retreat. That "who threw me in the river" joke is not the truth.

Your worries are just like the dragon who scares you till hell. You can easily just run away but then, to tame it; to make it work for you means something.

There is something that makes the difference. Attitude it is!

The will to work and change the surroundings till they suit you, the will to stand up for a cause, the will to stand against all the slander, the will to smile even when you feel like crying, the will to punch the bad times in the face, the will to be the Winner that you are.

Because as they say,
You do not have to fear defeat if you believe that it will reveal the powers you never thought you possessed.

(Confused Genius is giving this wicked smile, because she just figured out how to turn the situation in her stride.)

The Informals

And the thought process started again and what pushed it on board was a simple question from my side," when is your birthday?"
The informals, as the topic goes is my dedication to the really close ones, the ones who are so integral to my life that some times I end up taking them for granted.
And not me alone, it is the story of us all. The family, the "they are because they are"; sometimes we do not really care about them. And it is not because we do not care, it is because we know that they care alot.
So it ends up as, "I know whatever I do, You are not going to leave me."

These are the set of people we are actually our true selves with, no need of any masks, just us, because that is how they have accepted us for long.
We are ready to give them all negative in our life and they readily take it too.
Never will you hear a complaint but then, there have to be certain lines drawn.

Somewhere we get so sure of their existence in our lives, that we actually forget to value them. They are not the dustbins to dump our tensions in, they are the sponge that soaks all the worries out. But then, a sponge has a life too. Someday it hardens too.

A sponge can be replaced but a person can't. So friends, value your sponges. All they need is a little love from you and they will forget it all.
A simple hug and "i love you" from you will be enough for them to smile and feel special.

So while you work on improving your other relations, just devote a few moment to them too.
What are you waiting for now, am not writing any more, go and give a hug to your INFORMALS..

(Confused Genius knew that you would be waiting for this, well she just gave a hug why don't you go now and give that too)

Yes, I said NO !!

Many of us,or lets say a majority of us have something or the other to crib about. Things that make us feel sorry for ourselves, pity us.
And we feel sorry as frequently as our daily ablutions.
"Oh! So and so is screwing my life"; "I hate so and so". "So and so is such a toady". "So and so filled others against me!"

And yet, we work for so and so, we do not face so and so.
We feel so helpless infront of so and so. We just blurt out our emotions infront of our friends and then its done for us.

Believe me, most of our miseries are because of us only. We do not react;not that we can't, just that we don't want to.

I do not know what's wrong with people who keep bearing it all and then there are some who keep waiting for their patience to give away.

Oh, c'mon you are not going to get some favourite bahu award for this suffering.

So, why wait, respond now. Nip it in the bud, don't let the weed grow. Kill it destroy it.

And you don't really have to wage a war. Just a simple NO would do.

Learn to say NO.

Because if you won't tell them, they won't know.

(Confused Genius is happy that she says NO. People get miffed but then not every one can be kept happy.)

Fat-Slim So !!

Though am not a big fan or even a fan for that matter of Sonakshi Sinha yet there is something I need to say in her favour.
She is a good actor and as some might say she is getting all the movies because of the clout her father has, she still is the one actress other than Vidya Balan who endorses the "Am not slim and still beautiful" fact.
I appreciate the wafer thin girls who put in so much to be that skinny but I also equally appreciate the not really slim or healthy or fat ones who are just as happy with their physique.
Though I would not claim that being slim is easy, you really need to workout for that but being not slim isnt bad altogether.
It all depends on how your body accepts it, a skinny one is not always healthy and a fatty is not always diseased.

The point is how well you appreciate yourself, if you love yourself, the world will automatically love you.

Its all about the attitude, your persona, that eventually matters.

Physique is all a game of few years; after that it is you that remains..