Anger Enslaved..

(What the Devil taught me)

Professional life can be a bit of a torture especially when you are young and bubbling with ideas, having lots of responsibilities but with people who are there to screw it all for you around.
Anger in such cases is the easiest way out it seems. You shout and shriek like mad at people sometimes even double your age and then you think, "what else could have I done?"

You go about telling tales of how you stood for the right thing but, there is a big BUT to it.
Deep down somewhere you realise that this was not something you wanted to do. Losing your temper like that was not even the last thing that should have been done but then that was exactly what you did.

And, once this thought process starts, you are engulfed in the deep abyss of guilty you never wanted to have.

This is not just for the youngsters like me; anger pangs and the guilt that follows it causes much of the official pressure we talk of.

I won't say I have been averse to getting angry and I have been till some times back been a keen believer of the "tit for tat" tactic.
But then came a turning point and I changed it all.

Now, I believe in letting it go and if somebody or something pesters me, I shut my brain to that and concentrate on better and productive things. That is just a way out and there are many others too.

I may be called an escapist but yes am happily one and I am proud of it because I am escaping the periods of haunting miseries that will follow once I spit it back.

I have experimented with keeping calm and for the first few days, it nearly killed me. But having passed the phase, I am enjoying the bliss I am having. I am visibly happy and cheerful, much more than what I used to be and there is this distinct calm surrounding my life.

My mind has opened up to the vast realities and I have been experiencing the utopia, I once dreamt of.
I make resolutions every week and having shut myself to the negativity around, I have been able to give more time to myself.
I have been working on me, to better myself and to do even better and it has been going really well.

This is a personal experience I am sharing and I would love to know what you feel if you try the same too.

Waiting for your response..

(Confused Genius, can't let the devil in her die and so, initially and even now when she doesn't react and sees her adversaries getting irritated by her calm, somehow gives her a pleasure even more divine (TIC). The devil is so much fun, you just need to master it. And mastering the devil, thats exactly what the devil taught me.)

Am happy Cause am not Sad !!

I had been feeling particularly happy for about a week now and today, at the weekend I sat to analyse as to what was the reason behind it all.
Well actually, none. I was happy just because I was happy as I had no reason to be sad about.
We never really have to search for reasons to be happy, happiness comes to us naturally. Take for example, you are having your morning stroll and this puppy is playing on the road, makes you smile; the kid going to school waving his hands in air, makes you happy; the utter stupidity your colleague just did, well it was such a big one that you couldn't help but smile.
Happiness is not about being happy, its all about not being sad.
We have to search for reasons to be sad about, sometimes we search and other times we just make them up ( though there are some serious reasons too and they are genuine,  but lets not talk about that).

Why do we in search of larger happiness, ignore the smaller ones that come to us everyday. Believe me, if you start measuring, you have been happy for 90% of your life and that is a bit too much.

Your life is all about your perspectives, how you infer things. You change that and accordingly will change the reasons that will define your emotions.

So stop cribbing about the alleged sadness and miseries in your life, the moon out there is shining bright, go and be happy about it because god has given you eyes to see and appreciate its beauty..

But oh! I just gave you a big reason,let me give you another small one, are you feeling sad right now ? No, then come on be happy about it..

(Confused Genius is happy and enjoying herself, because she has changed her perspective towards things. Maybe you should try that too.)

Of Nani and 75+ me

It was 6 a.m. and I had just got out of my bed, nani was already up and ready for the day. She usually gets up at around 5 and that too without an alarm bell.
When I ask her about it, pat comes the reply, "umr k sath hojata h khud".

And then throughout the day she is working, preparing special for the day meals or reading newspaper. All this while not a single moment of rest she has. And when she is free, she reads Bhagwat.

Nani is around 80 now and it has been more than 10years since Nana passed away.
(Leave Nani alone, she is different, will tell in the end)
But Nani isn't the only such person, she is just one of the many aged people.

I think of them, do they not feel alone? Do they not miss someone? Do they not want to get their youth and charm back ? Does the thought of approaching death not scare them? How do they find their moments of happiness ? Sitting and staring at the photos doesn't help and nor does the regular pravachans.

Having lead a life of such hustle bustle, does this peace not bite them? The tears they shed, who comes and consoles them then ? Wiping your own doesn't really provide the composure that is desired.

Now i'll tell you and you know it too; the answer to all the above is YES, a biting tearing YES.

Oldies are special, they are passing through the phase that we all will some day. Look at them and the way you are with them, do you expect the same to happen to you ?

See in them not them but someone who has loved you unconditionally with their all might. They may not be as fast as you are but then, they have seen more than you and what love and affection is, they know; because Nani says," ye baal aisei safed ni hue!"

And well, the day isn't really far when you will be stepping in their shoes, do you want to be as alone ?

(Nani meanwhile is busy preparing idli sambhar, tomato soup is for tomorrow.
Meanwhile Confused Genius is busy thinking how she will look when she is as old as Nani because Nani still looks beautiful !!)

Rains, through the Glass

(The while waiting thoughts)

It was just another day and I was off to office. I just had to pick up one of my friends midway and since she was late, I was waiting.

It started raining all of a sudden and I thus had to close all the windows of the car and stop peeping out at the people on the road.
It was raining, and i was just looking nowhere.
And then there was this drop on the car glass that grabbed all my attention.
How immaculately it dripped and ran over the glass till finally it met a pool of other drops.
It was such an individual and then it was so undistinguished. Someone who was not more then one in a melee of others alike.

And then the reality struck, we fight for our survival, hold grudges, demean others, run after materialistic things forgetting about our lives all together.
Success, for us has become a synonym for living. We strive for better to have a better life and not because of the essence of the thing. Education for example is the means to a well paid job, knowledge is of no concern.

Working all the day, we forget to spend time with the ones we are actually working for.
Where is life; nowhere do I see it.
Running so fast to reach our goals, we have actually forgotten how blissful a simple slow walk is.
So sit back and relax, spend time with those who matter.
Because my sister once said a big thing to me, "jab beemar hogi to m hi kaam augi, padhai nai."