The Informals

And the thought process started again and what pushed it on board was a simple question from my side," when is your birthday?"
The informals, as the topic goes is my dedication to the really close ones, the ones who are so integral to my life that some times I end up taking them for granted.
And not me alone, it is the story of us all. The family, the "they are because they are"; sometimes we do not really care about them. And it is not because we do not care, it is because we know that they care alot.
So it ends up as, "I know whatever I do, You are not going to leave me."

These are the set of people we are actually our true selves with, no need of any masks, just us, because that is how they have accepted us for long.
We are ready to give them all negative in our life and they readily take it too.
Never will you hear a complaint but then, there have to be certain lines drawn.

Somewhere we get so sure of their existence in our lives, that we actually forget to value them. They are not the dustbins to dump our tensions in, they are the sponge that soaks all the worries out. But then, a sponge has a life too. Someday it hardens too.

A sponge can be replaced but a person can't. So friends, value your sponges. All they need is a little love from you and they will forget it all.
A simple hug and "i love you" from you will be enough for them to smile and feel special.

So while you work on improving your other relations, just devote a few moment to them too.
What are you waiting for now, am not writing any more, go and give a hug to your INFORMALS..

(Confused Genius knew that you would be waiting for this, well she just gave a hug why don't you go now and give that too)

Yes, I said NO !!

Many of us,or lets say a majority of us have something or the other to crib about. Things that make us feel sorry for ourselves, pity us.
And we feel sorry as frequently as our daily ablutions.
"Oh! So and so is screwing my life"; "I hate so and so". "So and so is such a toady". "So and so filled others against me!"

And yet, we work for so and so, we do not face so and so.
We feel so helpless infront of so and so. We just blurt out our emotions infront of our friends and then its done for us.

Believe me, most of our miseries are because of us only. We do not react;not that we can't, just that we don't want to.

I do not know what's wrong with people who keep bearing it all and then there are some who keep waiting for their patience to give away.

Oh, c'mon you are not going to get some favourite bahu award for this suffering.

So, why wait, respond now. Nip it in the bud, don't let the weed grow. Kill it destroy it.

And you don't really have to wage a war. Just a simple NO would do.

Learn to say NO.

Because if you won't tell them, they won't know.

(Confused Genius is happy that she says NO. People get miffed but then not every one can be kept happy.)

Fat-Slim So !!

Though am not a big fan or even a fan for that matter of Sonakshi Sinha yet there is something I need to say in her favour.
She is a good actor and as some might say she is getting all the movies because of the clout her father has, she still is the one actress other than Vidya Balan who endorses the "Am not slim and still beautiful" fact.
I appreciate the wafer thin girls who put in so much to be that skinny but I also equally appreciate the not really slim or healthy or fat ones who are just as happy with their physique.
Though I would not claim that being slim is easy, you really need to workout for that but being not slim isnt bad altogether.
It all depends on how your body accepts it, a skinny one is not always healthy and a fatty is not always diseased.

The point is how well you appreciate yourself, if you love yourself, the world will automatically love you.

Its all about the attitude, your persona, that eventually matters.

Physique is all a game of few years; after that it is you that remains..

Money & Happiness

Money cannot buy happiness, but still has no dustbin for it. The saying seemed so futile to me when I was buying this chocolate and saw some street kids looking at me expectantly.
Somehow I couldn't take the chocolate home, instead got some more and gave it to them.

Money here bought happiness, both for them and me too.
The cycle came to my maid's house; a second hand though but still she was particularly happy about it; money bought happiness in her life.

My first salary, and the gifts that I gave; money bought happiness again.

The probably first pizza outing for that not so well off family and the happiness I saw on their faces; money had bought happiness yet again.

But, like always there is a but!

The piled up bank balance and the toadies around, all vying for the moolah and the tensions it created in the family, money stole the happiness.

The children of the house took to wrong deeds, drug addiction and stuff, money stole the happiness.

Working all the day making a living, I could not have dinner with my family; money I have alot but where is the happiness?

Money is necessity but it is not life. Ultimately, there has to be a balance between everything. When the non living chemicals, try to attain equilibrium then why not we, the last I checked, we had some brains too.

Remember, the piled up bank balance and the Porsche outside your bungalow will be of no use, till you will have your loved ones to share  them with.

Think about it !!

(Confused Genius is thinking, you think too.)

Anger Enslaved..

(What the Devil taught me)

Professional life can be a bit of a torture especially when you are young and bubbling with ideas, having lots of responsibilities but with people who are there to screw it all for you around.
Anger in such cases is the easiest way out it seems. You shout and shriek like mad at people sometimes even double your age and then you think, "what else could have I done?"

You go about telling tales of how you stood for the right thing but, there is a big BUT to it.
Deep down somewhere you realise that this was not something you wanted to do. Losing your temper like that was not even the last thing that should have been done but then that was exactly what you did.

And, once this thought process starts, you are engulfed in the deep abyss of guilty you never wanted to have.

This is not just for the youngsters like me; anger pangs and the guilt that follows it causes much of the official pressure we talk of.

I won't say I have been averse to getting angry and I have been till some times back been a keen believer of the "tit for tat" tactic.
But then came a turning point and I changed it all.

Now, I believe in letting it go and if somebody or something pesters me, I shut my brain to that and concentrate on better and productive things. That is just a way out and there are many others too.

I may be called an escapist but yes am happily one and I am proud of it because I am escaping the periods of haunting miseries that will follow once I spit it back.

I have experimented with keeping calm and for the first few days, it nearly killed me. But having passed the phase, I am enjoying the bliss I am having. I am visibly happy and cheerful, much more than what I used to be and there is this distinct calm surrounding my life.

My mind has opened up to the vast realities and I have been experiencing the utopia, I once dreamt of.
I make resolutions every week and having shut myself to the negativity around, I have been able to give more time to myself.
I have been working on me, to better myself and to do even better and it has been going really well.

This is a personal experience I am sharing and I would love to know what you feel if you try the same too.

Waiting for your response..

(Confused Genius, can't let the devil in her die and so, initially and even now when she doesn't react and sees her adversaries getting irritated by her calm, somehow gives her a pleasure even more divine (TIC). The devil is so much fun, you just need to master it. And mastering the devil, thats exactly what the devil taught me.)

Am happy Cause am not Sad !!

I had been feeling particularly happy for about a week now and today, at the weekend I sat to analyse as to what was the reason behind it all.
Well actually, none. I was happy just because I was happy as I had no reason to be sad about.
We never really have to search for reasons to be happy, happiness comes to us naturally. Take for example, you are having your morning stroll and this puppy is playing on the road, makes you smile; the kid going to school waving his hands in air, makes you happy; the utter stupidity your colleague just did, well it was such a big one that you couldn't help but smile.
Happiness is not about being happy, its all about not being sad.
We have to search for reasons to be sad about, sometimes we search and other times we just make them up ( though there are some serious reasons too and they are genuine,  but lets not talk about that).

Why do we in search of larger happiness, ignore the smaller ones that come to us everyday. Believe me, if you start measuring, you have been happy for 90% of your life and that is a bit too much.

Your life is all about your perspectives, how you infer things. You change that and accordingly will change the reasons that will define your emotions.

So stop cribbing about the alleged sadness and miseries in your life, the moon out there is shining bright, go and be happy about it because god has given you eyes to see and appreciate its beauty..

But oh! I just gave you a big reason,let me give you another small one, are you feeling sad right now ? No, then come on be happy about it..

(Confused Genius is happy and enjoying herself, because she has changed her perspective towards things. Maybe you should try that too.)

Of Nani and 75+ me

It was 6 a.m. and I had just got out of my bed, nani was already up and ready for the day. She usually gets up at around 5 and that too without an alarm bell.
When I ask her about it, pat comes the reply, "umr k sath hojata h khud".

And then throughout the day she is working, preparing special for the day meals or reading newspaper. All this while not a single moment of rest she has. And when she is free, she reads Bhagwat.

Nani is around 80 now and it has been more than 10years since Nana passed away.
(Leave Nani alone, she is different, will tell in the end)
But Nani isn't the only such person, she is just one of the many aged people.

I think of them, do they not feel alone? Do they not miss someone? Do they not want to get their youth and charm back ? Does the thought of approaching death not scare them? How do they find their moments of happiness ? Sitting and staring at the photos doesn't help and nor does the regular pravachans.

Having lead a life of such hustle bustle, does this peace not bite them? The tears they shed, who comes and consoles them then ? Wiping your own doesn't really provide the composure that is desired.

Now i'll tell you and you know it too; the answer to all the above is YES, a biting tearing YES.

Oldies are special, they are passing through the phase that we all will some day. Look at them and the way you are with them, do you expect the same to happen to you ?

See in them not them but someone who has loved you unconditionally with their all might. They may not be as fast as you are but then, they have seen more than you and what love and affection is, they know; because Nani says," ye baal aisei safed ni hue!"

And well, the day isn't really far when you will be stepping in their shoes, do you want to be as alone ?

(Nani meanwhile is busy preparing idli sambhar, tomato soup is for tomorrow.
Meanwhile Confused Genius is busy thinking how she will look when she is as old as Nani because Nani still looks beautiful !!)