So, luckily or unluckily I have been travelling a lot- mostly by air and believe me it is not the experience I always thought it would be.
I do not know why but I feel that I do not belong to this "flight se janey vali junta". I feel like a kid lost among the alleged high class painted dolls, faked accents, beer mugs and high profile business people.
Then come the air host and hostess and the pilots who behind the veil of their politeness still make sure that their "we are better and so we judge you" shines. I mean, so many times you just screw up with your learnt by heart instructions, every question that is not the usual one makes you fumble and then you have the audacity to challenge a person's intelligence and mock the people who ask for change after a purchase is made. I mean, please understand that you are glorified drivers and samaan bechne valey who are qualified. Though this entitles you to respect but does not in anyway grant you the freedom to insult others- esp the elderlies and the lesser educated ones.
Ok anyway, let me draw the sketch of the average flight passenger. Well with their head held high, they definitely feel they are elite. The ladies are wearing loud makeup- usually the loudness of the makeup is inversely proportional to the number of flights taken. The men, well they definitely have to pay a visit to the wine shop or any random shop at the airport with or without their family to show to I don't know whom that they have the power to buy from here. The fact that they come out empty handed mostly is another thing.
Even though many would not be versed with English, they make a point that they have to converse in English only and mind you if you speak in Hindi- you are up for a condescending look.
I do not understand why the "pta nahi" from the railway station suddenly turns to "i dhon't know" (yes I wrote dhon't).
And if you happen to visit the lounge, you would meet the "Gods". I mean, even rajma chaval gets called fried kidney beans and I have heard total desi people talking like that. I mean seriously- ghar pe kidney beans khatey ho kya? Humare yaha to rajma banta h!
Now, why I said that most of these people are faking- so here I present a three point checklist and next time any of you happens to catch a flight and has some time to spare, just look out for it.
1) In a family, the children always are the mirrors of the family. So even if the parents would be dying hard to talk, walk and live English, the way the child speaks will be the truth.
2) The "kidney-bean" people are usually on an attention seeking spree. The body language shows really well and you just have to give a look or two and see their "kidney-beanism" accentuate. Also, they would keep glancing back to ensure that they are still getting the attention. (Boys just be a bit careful when you check these out though)
3) The housekeeping people, go and talk to them. I mean if these flight lene valey people were so elite, the toilets would have been amazingly clean but a word or two with the housekeeping person and they will paint the real picture for you.
PS: I might be called "so-middle class" after this, but as they say- say whatever you want man, I'll still care as much as one minus one equals to!
(Confused Genius is feeling left out and she tried faking an accent or two and she just laughed at herself. On a more serious note, she is badly missing the train journey- only if it wasn't a 1.5 hour vs 1.5 day journey decision)
