The Rajma Chawal Concept: Fighting it Out

Dear People, the last one was about fighting it out and I, considering that that particular post could not come out well, decided to christen it as an Introduction to what was about to come later. Well, true to my words here I am with one among the "later" series and luckily I got my inspiration pretty soon and hence here is the blog.

(By the way, the inspiration came last week only, I cannot tell you how I held it back for this week)

So, almost all of us love Rajma-Chawal and if someone does not then I would want to challenge them to a Trial by Combat and mind it that I play WWE style where I am scripted to Win (TIC).

Anyway, the point is when life gives you Rajma, you ought to find Chawal and cook them and then serve and eat because Rajma just does not go well with "Roti" and Rajma- Chawal is by any means the best food one can get. (Damn! I am so hungry right now!)

So you see our life is Rajma and it is pretty incomplete without Chawal (the Success/Happiness, how you define it). We put in our efforts to bring them together (get rice, cook it, serve it, mix eat and eat it) and we try really hard. We do get an option of making "Roti" and eat it with Rajma but seldom are we satisfied with the combination.
Rajma-Chawal or as we can put it, what life gives and what "We" want to make out of it (our aspirations) always need a lot of effort.
Do we, no matter how tired we are ever settle for Rajma Roti ?
Do we, no matter what, even for a second feel dishearten on not finding Chawal in the first, second or third shop? Do we not keep searching for it till we find it?
Do we, even if at once we manage to have only Rajma-Roti, completely give up on the existence of Rajma-Chawal just stopping to think about it forever?

Then why do we give up in real life?

When we can be so determined about the taste of our food, why do we not take our lives with as much passion? It isn't that easy, fine! But is it that tough ? Seriously ? After all that you have been through already, can anything be tough for you?

People, all of us here, we have been through our self defined hells and we have enjoyed our heavens and all of us are still standing strong. We are the ones who live on endless probabilities and still each night we sleep with the hope of getting up next morning. Each day, we leave our homes making plans for the day, for the week, month, year, our lives- and you think you get hopeless.

You all in one way or the other follow this Rajma Chawal concept, but you know what, it is so integral to your life's existence that you just fail to realise how strong you have always been!

Cutting it short, the next time you feel bogged down, go and have some Rajma Chawal and am sure (at least for those who will read this blog) you will realise that Your Chawal, well you will find it for sure!

(Confused Genius is dead hungry now and well bye bye! She is just rushing to eat!)

Fighting it Out: Introduction

I had been on a social network detox for some time now trying different combinations of deactivating the account and staying away. I will devote another blog to this feeling but here I will cut it short to let you know that it had been a peaceful period throughout.

It was just a detox you see and I had not taken any oath to not get back, something which I would have done but could not do thanks to my inner self which has always been an attention seeker! Don’t you think that I really tend to lead astray- I would not call it beat about the bush because I need to form a “bhoomika” for my blogs and this gives me the creative liberty to wander and all those who wander are not lost said someone I do not know.

Anyway, what finally forced me to write was this small time pass that had engrossed me yesterday. So I am really fond of this Patanjali product called “harad” and I eat it three tablets at a time for the awesome taste it has. So I was trying to take three tablets out but four came and when I intended to put back the 4th one, it was the 3rd that went back in. Just to tell you- I had mentally demarcated the four tablets as 1, 2, 3 and 4 and hence the differentiation.

So you see people, life is just like that- totally unplanned and you seriously do not know what is coming out of the box for you and in your attempt to make it right, what would the implications be! All this while, all of us keep trying to make up for a happy living but then, the reason there are so many quotes about life is that it is unpredictable. The only thing which you can be sure of is that you would react in one way or the other- what way it would be is a mystery too.

Having had some not so good times myself like everyone has, I could infer one thing and that is how my system fights with anything “not good”- I simply shut my mind’s shutters on it. Neither do I fright nor do I flight, I go into an “I will fight it out when it becomes totally difficult to avoid” and meanwhile let me work on what is still in a good shape or easier to handle.
We usually take up the harder things first thinking that it would take the most time. Wrong! The easier ones should be finished first and then these hard ones, they can be solved later. Isn’t it funny that when we follow this “easier first” concept in our exams, we tend to go the other way in our lives where it actually matters.

What I mentioned in the last two paragraphs has been working for me ever since I grew up enough to understand the vagaries of life. It has not been easy, but it has not been impossible too and believe me, if I can do it, so can anyone.

See, it is not going to be easy, never ever; at our own levels, we will always find things going hay wire. So, just pop the first three candies and enjoy them, the fourth one will eventually fall in place one day.
And by the way- even if you want to exchange the candy in your hand with the one that fell in the box, aren’t they all the same in there?

(Confused Genius knows that this one is not really getting into flow so let us just take it as an introductory one. The points that we just introduced here, I shall write in detail on these mechanisms further in the series. Keep waiting)

The Airport Diary ka Page

So, luckily or unluckily I have been travelling a lot- mostly by air and believe me it is not the experience I always thought it would be.
I do not know why but I feel that I do not belong to this "flight se janey vali junta". I feel like a kid lost among the alleged high class painted dolls, faked accents, beer mugs and high profile business people.

Then come the air host and hostess and the pilots who behind the veil of their politeness still make sure that their "we are better and so we judge you" shines. I mean, so many times you just screw up with your learnt by heart instructions, every question that is not the usual one makes you fumble and then you have the audacity to challenge a person's intelligence and mock the people who ask for change after a purchase is made. I mean, please understand that you are glorified drivers and samaan bechne valey who are qualified. Though this entitles you to respect but does not in anyway grant you the freedom to insult others- esp the elderlies and the lesser educated ones.

Ok anyway, let me draw the sketch of the average flight passenger. Well with their head held high, they definitely feel they are elite. The ladies are wearing loud makeup- usually the loudness of the makeup is inversely proportional to the number of flights taken. The men, well they definitely have to pay a visit to the wine shop or any random shop at the airport with or without their family to show to I don't know whom that they have the power to buy from here. The fact that they come out empty handed mostly is another thing.
Even though many would not be versed with English, they make a point that they have to converse in English only and mind you if you speak in Hindi- you are up for a condescending look.
I do not understand why the "pta nahi" from the railway station suddenly turns to "i dhon't know" (yes I wrote dhon't).

And if you happen to visit the lounge, you would meet the "Gods". I mean, even rajma chaval gets called fried kidney beans and I have heard total desi people talking like that. I mean seriously- ghar pe kidney beans khatey ho kya? Humare yaha to rajma banta h!

Now, why I said that  most of these people are faking- so here I present a three point checklist and next time any of you happens to catch a flight and has some time to spare, just look out for it.

1) In a family, the children always are the mirrors of the family. So even if the parents would be dying hard to talk, walk and live English, the way the child speaks will be the truth.

2) The "kidney-bean" people are usually on an attention seeking spree. The body language shows really well and you just have to give a look or two and  see their "kidney-beanism" accentuate. Also, they would keep glancing back to ensure that they are still getting the attention. (Boys just be a bit careful when you check these out though)

3) The housekeeping people, go and talk to them. I mean if these flight lene valey people were so elite, the toilets would have been amazingly clean but a word or two with the housekeeping person and they will paint the real picture for you.

PS: I might be called "so-middle class" after this, but as they say- say whatever you want man, I'll still care as much as one minus one equals to!

(Confused Genius is feeling left out and she tried faking an accent or two and she just laughed at herself. On a more serious note, she is badly missing the train journey- only if it wasn't a 1.5 hour vs 1.5 day journey decision)

The Crowd Syndrome!

The crowd makes you and me feel lonely at its worst. Why?

The reasons are:

1)We all think that we are different and so we are not a part of the crowd and since we assume that we are standing alone, we become lonely.

2)We realise it is the crowd that we are walking in when we are alone, so you see the crowd and you are like, I wish I were with my friends or family and so you feel lonely max again.

So the moral of the story is: Take a rickshaw as and when possible, the speed will be good enough for you to think anything.

The analogy: You see happiness seems to pass so fast, so try and be happy, sometimes be happy because there is no reason to not be. And since you will be riding that happiness rickshaw, you will be too happy and spontaneous to think about anything that is sad!

Simply do not overthink your miseries, there is so much good around :-)

(Cutting it short, Confused Genius just wants to highlight the fact that being happy and forgetting negativity is the best gift you can give to yourself. A little positivity though tough to get but not that tough too doesn't really hurt)

Haridwar Through My Eyes: Part 2

The Railway Station

This one should have come long back but anyway it has come and as they say, "देर आए दुरुस्त आए"!

I do not get to enjoy a lot of vacations now, not that I am busy but the college doesn't give enough "chhutti" to go home. One exceptional vacation ended recently and I was on the railway station with my parents waiting for the train.

Even though it was late at night, the station was living in its full glory with all the hustle bustle and chatters around. I would rather say I saw aspirations and emotions roaming around in human form.

So to start with:

You enter the station and you notice every new thing that has happened with the infrastructure. And this is not because you are observant, it is simply because the station is not really big and you have been watching it since you were a kid. The book stall now has halogen lamps, the coaches now stop in front of the marked numbers, the food vendors are following proper hygiene codes.

It is all getting so advanced, so Delhi like! And we say it with pride!

For people, well the people are more or less the same. Their faces have changed but their character hasn't.

The moment you step on the first stair of the station, you know your life is going to change after that. Either you will go and make a difference somewhere or you will stay back and have a difference made in your life by the void which would be left because of the departed.

You look around and you realize that how everyone is running towards their goal, waiting patiently (not really) for the train and then hopping fast in to it to make sure that they do not miss it.

It is not just the train they have to catch. They have to make it big in a big city! And the veracity can be seen in the fact that most people are either Delhi, Mumbai or Bangalore bound. Haridwar or the likes are just too small for their dreams.

Those goodbyes said from the train, those promises to meet again, the spark of successfully completing the goal which made the people leave their homes- so many emotions just puzzle me, forcing me to leave this one on an open end too, but I will not do that.

You see, somethings do not change at all. Like our memories, our little heart which still gets super elated when we come back to our small town. The air that blows across your face just when you enter the city limits, a smile comes out of nowhere and you know you are back home!

And among the things that have remained constant all through these ages is the old weighing machine still standing tall on the station.

You know what, one day when we will become old, we will become like the old weighing machine on the station which has become old and rickety and stopped functioning too yet is made to stand there, for it has seen the ages pass and in it stands the memories we had.
Just standing and observing and smiling at what has happened and waiting for when its existence will be ultimately removed!

Close your eyes and realize!

Haridwar: Through My Eyes- Part 1

The Sabzee Mandi

You have to be lucky to be born in a small town is what I feel as I stand in the sabzee mandi, holding two bags of vegetables with hot and crisp jalebis and pakoras being fried right in front of me.

Fully acknowledging my exponentially increasing weight, I still go ahead imagining the magic these out of the world, high on fat items will spell in my digestive system.
As if this wasn’t enough that the sudden expression of a lady got my attention. She was bargaining with a small time retailer over an item she wanted to buy. I cannot say that I did not overhear the conversation because I did and as I write this, it is playing in my mind all over again. From there, I somehow lost myself to the numerous human emotions I had around.

Sabzee Mandi, believe me it is the best place you could ever be in if you want to know what humans are. It is a mini outing for many, the happiness of that one gola a father buys for his child, the colorful bangles the girl is happy to even see, that achievement of getting a rupee off.

The chaat-pakori treats, the happiness that is all around. For once, there is no divide of rich and poor, of Brahmin or Kshatriya or any other caste for that matter. For once we all stand together.

The numerous vendors shouting out loud, some just sitting like that; no marketing strategies nothing and yet they make it good. Sometimes for some people it is not a good day but do they end it in a state of despair; I do not think so! The hope in the eyes is what captivates me!

Then occasionally the stray cows and bulls come and the way people run, well it is some kind of a show for those who are just watching.

I sometimes wonder how people can be so hopeful, with so little at their disposal they are still making the most of it and here we cry about the petty things we do not have!

Anyway, with so many emotions around, so many images to capture; as I write this I smile. Knowing it well that I have failed miserably at capturing the emotions, maybe some photographer could have done that better.

Or maybe we all could just close our eyes and feel the same, paint our own pictures, just the way we want them to be!

Emotions! Though art inexplicable!

The Discrete Life of I

A lot many things go in your mind at this stage, when you are an Indian girl of age 25+, your friends are getting married, some are doing really well in their career and you are still studying, struggling to find answers to many things that keep pecking your mind. You know not where to find the answers but you still hope that might be you will unravel the mystery some day.

Just trying to paint a picture of this randomness of thoughts here! Loosely held pieces of stories not related to each other in any way and yet questioning the very subtlety of mind and existence.

1.      Choices, so many of them at almost all the points and every single time you have to choose; as if the concept of middle path never existed. I seriously cannot understand why can there not be an option which satisfies both. Why are the choices always conflicting? Why is there no harmony in the things we want? Why is it always give and take?

2.      Marriage, a great relation to be in for all those who are about to get married, but for some it is an obstacle. What is so special about a marriage that people see it as an ultimate destination, the culmination of love life is in “getting married”? What is it that makes people want to marry, societal pressure, license to get physical in a country like India or an investment for the old age when none wants to be left alone?

3.      Career, defined by money mostly and money again for the remaining share. Going for good degrees, good colleges is only to get a good placement and such is the prevalence of this fact that whenever someone says that they are there for education, it sounds like a joke. A blot on the face of knowledge the humanity has gained over time, education comes at a very expensive price. The rule is simple, the more you give, the more you earn later (Generally for the earning part). It is after all the most profitable business, one time investment and life time earnings.

4.      People, who on earth are they to pass judgments and decide my life for me; well actually they are the people, the majority, the ones are loved ones get affected by. My remaining aloof doesn’t immunize me against their will. As they say, you are free to make your choices but you are not free from the consequences there of. And again, am I falling back on getting a chance at judging anyone? Well, for others I am also the “people”.

5.      Love, well I should not say anything about it because I do not understand it and neither do I have the will to. The last I checked, I had better things to think about and pass my time than to think about this one term that is making people go mad by saying I Love You to one person once and the other some other time. So, I decide not to think on it any further and enjoy my “love life” as it comes!

6.      Books, maybe here is where I find solace. The world is a fiction here but at least it is not affecting me. I smile, I cry, I laugh and I feel bad but then it all ends with the last page. I wish my life was a book where every chapter would have ended and then the book itself would have ended on a positive note.

7.      Abilities, well how much able I am and how much do others rate me. There are people boasting about their supreme abilities in things, well I certainly haven’t given a thought about how much I can accomplish. I leave it to the time when it comes but do their ratings not affect me; I cannot say No with certainty.

8.      I have had this amazingly odd habit of not being able to sit idle. Somehow, every time I do, I feel as if the world around has started closing on me, as if all that is bad will happen soon and I will not be able to do anything. All the negativity around seems to engulf me in its heat and I burn, every part of mine melting away and there I stand helplessly, watching myself unable to help.

9.      Sometimes, I really don’t want to get up; keep sleeping till the other day comes and maybe I get up as a transformed person. The day has its uncertainties which do not interest me at all. All I want to do is to sit back and act lazy; I feel like keeping gazing at the wall, the fan that constantly moves, the birds outside and think how life would have been had I been them.

Life is really confusing sometimes. One moment you want this, the other you want something entirely different. You keep swinging between these extremes but maybe this is what it makes it so beautiful. The UNCERTAINITY of YOUR WANTS!!